Gathering 2022
Small Circle Topic & Talking Points
We extend an invitation to join us as we embark on a sacred journey of discovery & growth through the exploration of our theme: Resilience as a Spiritual Practice: A Call to Courage.
From listening to our individual resilience stories, we will bear witness to the many aspects of resilience. We will discover a deeper understanding of what resilience is, when it is needed, how we use it & the benefits of having it. We will gather ideas on how to develop, strengthen, gain accessibility & release its power.
The 3 Practices include:
(from the Circle Way)
1. Listening with attention by holding clear focus on what is being said by someone else.
2. Intentional speaking: contribute to what has relevance & meaning to the topic and situation. Go to the heart of your response.
3. Conscious self-monitoring: monitor your energy. Consider the impact of your words and actions.
The Primary Agreements:
We hold all that is spoken in confidentiality.
We listen with compassion and curiosity and without judgement.
Ask for what you need and offer what you can.
When in need, ask guardian to ring bell for pause, clarification, recentering, a moment of respect for what has been said. The group may add to these agreements to suit their particular needs.
If a need rises for a group decision, voting is represented with a Thumbs Up (yes), Down (no), and Sideways (wish to speak re: what's being decided).
Small Circle Questions for Gathering 2022
1 \ Small Circle Day 1 "CONNECTION"
What is resiliency? Resiliency is the ability to bounce or spring back into shape after having been stretched, bent, and compressed. What makes us resilient? It is a reactive state of mind created by how we see ourselves and how we respond to that vision. Don't sugarcoat reality. Often times, it's the unknown that scares us. "When we examine the truth about our threats, we will reveal the true reserve of our power and our greatest strength." -M. Bushingham, Harvard Business Review Author Valarie Burton lists Connection as one of the Five Traits of The Most Resilient People. "They don't face life alone. They connect with friends, family and colleagues. They have a support network for stressful times. They reach out when they could use some help." "Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment. Nothing is as important as human connection. Human connection is sharing the gift of presence. It's an energy exchange between people who are paying undivided attention to one another. Building positive relationships with people can make a difference in how resilient we are." -Brene Brown, The Gift of Imperfection Do you reach out to others easily? Do you have a working support network? How do you practice the art of being fully present? Other aspects of connection: compassion, bonding, balance, and empathy. Dr. Kristin Neff says compassion is a habit and a virtue with three elements. 1. Self-Kindness Being patient, warm and understanding towards ourselves when we feel inadequate. Self-compassion is often overlooked. 2. Common Humanity Recognizing that suffering and feeling personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience. 3. Mindfulness Taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. "It is through the strength of what is genuine that meaningful connections build into relationships." -Michelle Tillis Lederman Does your authentic self differ from what you present to others?
2 \ Small Circle Day 2 "COURAGE"
"Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is fear walking." Courage is the attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous, difficult, or painful instead of withdrawing from it. Spiritual Courage is the strength to prioritize love for others, love for justice, love for truth. It often requires courage that must come from spiritual realities, your soul, and the Spirit Within: the spiritual values of your life." Susan David (Ted Talks) Talking Point: Share one of your success stories of a personal courageous experience. How did that experience contribute to your current abilities for resilience? "There is a way to deal with challenge in the face of adversity through sacred feminine wisdom. We have descended from a long line of resilient women who have survived through wars, witch hunts, political overthrows and social and economic change. Women who support each other find a courageous way through life events. There is power in sisterhood- not isolation. Every journey starts with a call to courage. It is only facing our difficulties with courage, truth and clarity that we can begin the creative process of overcoming adversity and bouncing back. Setting clear boundaries around your time, capacity and relationships will give you the energy to reboot and bounce back." -Eleftheria Kikambower, Sacred Feminine Resilience Program "I don't want to be remembered as the girl who was shot. I want to be remembered as the girl who stood up." - Malala Yousafzai Malala was born July 12,1997 in Pakistan. She advocates for the rights of women and girls and worldwide access to education for them. She survived an assassination attempt in 2012, but she continued her activism. Talking Point: Have you ever been "the girl / woman who stood up" in defiance of adversity? From where did that courage come? The most creative power given to the human spirit is the power to heal wounds of a past that cannot change. "Waiting for someone to repent is to surrender our future to the person who wronged us. We forgive when we are ready to be healed. When we forgive, we set a person free and discover the person we set free is us." Lewis B. Smedes Forgiving is a journey---the deeper the wound, the longer the journey. We do it alone - inside our hearts and minds. Forgiving does not require us to reunite with the person who broke our trust. What happens to the people we forgive depends on them. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, condoning, excusing offenses or have an obligation for you to reconcile with the person who harmed you. It does bring peace of mind and frees you from corrosive anger. "It empowers you to see the pain you suffered does not define you, enabling you to heal and move forward in your life." Adam Cohen, Greater Good Magazine Talking Point: How do you recognize your need to grant forgiveness to someone? Is exercising your creative power to forgive an easy task for you? How do you know you have accomplished your intention to forgive someone? Forgiveness Ceremony @ Fire/ Dance /Drumming Circle tonight---outside of cafeteria After the talking point responses on forgiveness are completed, give each member an approximately sized 3x3 piece of blank white paper with the following instructions: Take some quiet, contemplative time in the next few hours to discover what you are now willing to forgive. On the paper you have just been given, write down the situation, event or person you are forgiving as well as listing the feelings (distrust, wounded, pain, sorrow, etc.) you are ready to release in this Ceremony tonight. A void is created in your energy field each time you release something (pain, anger, sorrow etc.). On the same piece of paper that you've written what you are releasing, write your intention with what you want to fill the void. (Peace, joy, unconditional love, trust, humor, wisdom, etc.) Bring that paper with you to tonight's Fire, Drumming/ Dance Circle.
3 \ Small Circle Day 3 "CHANGE"
"Change is a constant in life. Resilience is being able to cope with negative change. Don't sacrifice your future for today's pain. With a positive perspective and attitude, we have power. It is important to be able to ask for help. Remember, it's ok to have been a victim- but not to be a victim. That gives us power to change how we view things, think and ultimately overcome." What Trauma Taught Me About Resilience - Charles Hunt "The first step toward change is awareness. Then second step is acceptance." -Nathaniel Brandeu God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. -Reinhold Niebuhr Serenity Prayer Change is an ever-constant part of life. It is often a necessary tool in the development of resiliency. Change can be a challenge, especially when it is uncomfortable, unsolicited or unwanted. Accepting change is about having a plan to keep your mindset and emotions in check by taking steps that will help you get through the change. Talking Point: How do you react to or feel about change? Do you recognize any personal obstacles that prohibit your acceptance of change? To utilize our resiliency skills, we often have to incorporate acceptance into our way of thinking and reasoning. "Most things will be ok eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small quiet room." -Cheryl Strayed Talking Point: Share story of when you experienced entering into that "small quiet room of acceptance." Were there any changes you recognized within yourself or the energies around the situation? Internal recharging skills may include meditation, journaling, removing yourself from constant tech, listening to music, or doing a calming, quiet craft or art project. External recharging skills may include short periods of relaxation, walking or yoga. "We need to learn to try really hard, stop, recover and repeat. See the whole picture, look at both sides of an event. It's not just about you. Resilience is about how you recharge not how you endure. Don't sacrifice your future for today's pain. Internal and external recovery are not the same thing. Stopping does not equal recovering. Internal recovery involves short periods of relaxation during the day. External recovery takes place outside your work or daily routine. It's time to totally remove yourself. Take a walk, meditate, journal, watch a movie, have lunch with a friend, etc ..." -Shawn Achor and Michelle Gilen Talking Point: How do you recognize when you need to recharge? What are your chosen methods for recharging? This journey belongs to no one but you, however, according to Brene Brown, "No one successfully goes it alone. Connection is vital. Rising strong is a spiritual practice. Getting back on our feet does not require religion, theology or doctrine. Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to one another by a power greater than all of us and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and purpose to our lives."
4 \ Small Circle Day 4 "CHANGE"
"It is through connection, courage and change that our important resiliency strengthens. It is important to build your personal resiliency tool box. Fill it with compassion, forgiveness, mindfulness, and authenticity. By recharging, you can wake up every day able to deal with the things that you can control. You can rise strong." -Brene Bown, Rising Strong Be kind to yourself as you develop your process. C.K. Germer said "A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life." Talking Point: What new tools have you acquired to become more resilient? How will you use these tools to empower your authentic self? Give-a-way Closing check out round.